


How to be a Heartbreaker

by totallynotaddicted



Series: Current Concerns [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Iwaizumi is the long suffering friend, Kiyoko didn't ask for any of this, Other, Suga is just Suga, oikawa is the fucking idiot dork he is, relationships are entirely platonic, says g but Iwa-chan has a potty mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 00:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3916906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotaddicted/pseuds/totallynotaddicted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His current concern:<em>  When he tried to talk to Karasuno's manager, Shimizu Kiyoko, he got utterly ignored. (But she must have just been shy, and it's not at all like he's bothered with it, not even a little, not at all- Oikawa said to himself.) </em></p>
            </blockquote>





	How to be a Heartbreaker

**Author's Note:**

> I've always loved the current concerns of the Haikyuu!! cast and let's be real, this was something that had to be written.
> 
> Also I have a test and I needed to write something to calm myself down.

Today was the day.

Oikawa fluffs up his hair and stares at his reflection in the mirror, scrutinizing every last detail of his face. He leans back, satisfied by how gorgeous he looks. If he had a blemish or even a pimple his chances would have dropped. But no, today his skin looked flawless.

The bathroom door opens with a “ _BANG”_   and Oikawa chirps in surprise. He spins around to find Iwaizumi at the doorway, glowering at him.

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa says conversationally, leaning against the bathroom sink. “You’re just in time!”

Iwaizumi scowls at him. “The fuck are you talking about?”

Oikawa waves a hand. “Language~” he chides as he flounces over to his friend. Oikawa grabs him by his wrist and drags Iwaizumi over to the mirrors. He lets go and fluffs his hair up again.

“Oh my god, you’re like a peacock,” spits Iwaizumi, glaring at Oikawa. “Shittykawa, you do realize that we have to help break down the net, right?”

“Relax,” says Oikawa soothingly, pulling at one obnoxious curl at the top of his head. He frowns when it refuses to lay flat. After a few attempts of taming it he sighs in defeat. It’s not too bad, he thinks. It makes him look endearing.

“Relax? Oikawa, how am I supposed to relax when we are needed and I come into the bathroom to see you preening like some kind of goddamn Bird of Paradise?!”

Oikawa grins. “Are you saying that I’m as pretty as they are?” He bats his eyelashes.

“You're a fucking prick. What are you thinking about doing?”

Oikawa hums to himself and dodges Iwaizumi’s question. “Do you think I look cute?”

“Oikawa, wht the fuck-“

Oikawa shushes him and presses a finger to Iwaizumi’s lips. “I asked a question, Iwa-chan. Just answer it.”

Iwaizumi narrows his eyes at him. “You aren’t think about going hunting for girls, are you?”

Oikawa laughs. “No! Of course not! What makes you think that?” he says as he messes with his hair again, checking himself out.

Iwaizumi looks at him. “Are you even for real?”

“Hm, last time I checked,” replies Oikawa, winking at Iwaizumi through the mirror. His friend rolls his eyes and says something under his breath. Probably shittykawa. Oikawa hums to himself as he turns on the faucet and washes his hands for the third time in the past five minutes. Iwaizumi frowns at him and cocks his head to the side, trying to figure out what the hell was up with his best friend. 

“Iwa-chan,” says Oikawa breezily once he’s done washing his hands. Iwaizumi snaps to attention and watches suspiciously as Oikawa saunters to the hand dryer. “Did you happen to see Kararsuno’s manager-chan while making your way over here?”

“I _fucking_ knew it!” exclaims Iwaizumi, banging his fist against the wall. Oikawa blinks. “I knew you were about to go out hunting for girls!”

“Oh, no no. _Girl_ , not _girls_. Geez, Iwa-chan, learn your singular and plurals.” Oikawa snickers loudly as Iwaizumi punches his shoulder.

“Oikawa, please, please don’t hit on Karasuno’s manager,” begs Iwaizumi.

“Why not?” bristles Oikawa, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Do you want to talk to her? Are you going to try and steal her away from me?”

Iwaizumi throws his hands up. “I’m going to beat you up,” he says, lacking conviction. “Why, why would you think that it would be a good idea to flirt with… with… Kikyo-san? ”

Oikawa rolls his eyes dramatically.”Iwa-chan, it’s Ki _yoko_ -san. You’re an embarrassment.”

“Well, I’m not the one entertaining the idea of trying to seduce Karasuno’s manager,” snaps Iwaizumi.

Oikawa frowns. “Who said anything about seducing her?”

“It’s in your eyes,” Iwaizumi grumbles as he marches out of the bathroom. Oikawa trails behind him and pokes his head in the gym in hopes of spotting a certain cutie. No such luck. Karasuno has already left, anyways. There would be no reason for her to stay behind.

“What makes you think that this is a good idea, anyways?” asks Iwaizumi.

Oikawa sighs and leans against the wall. “Because I won’t be able to concentrate if I don’t.”

“I’m sorry, but what? You’re joking, right?” Oikawa gives Iwaizumi a sidelong glance before turning his attention to his nails. “Wow, okay. You _are_ serious. But why?”

“It’ll be my last chance to talk to her,” explains Oikawa, still picking his nails. “In our first year she only came to the spring tournament and second year she was only at Interhighs and surrounded by these two annoying first years.” Oikawa wrinkles his nose at the memory of the two of them, circling around her like hawks and mercilessly attacking anyone how dare even breathe in Kiyoko’s direction. “I’ll be too busy with games this year so… this is my last chance.”

“That is actually pathetic. Have you been pining for her for this long?”

Oikawa snorts loudly. “No!” Iwaizumi gives him a meaningful look. “Okay, maybe a little, but it’s not a like a crush or anything like that! I just… want to get to know her? Possibly get her number? Date her and watch as Karasuno crumbles from the inside because I’ve stolen their manager?” Oikawa lets out a maniac laugh. “Oooo, what if Tobio-chan has a crush on her? How wonderful it would be to crush him like this!”

Iwaizumi buries his face in his palms. “Oh my god, how on earth are we friends? You're a horrible person.”

Oikawa sticks out his tongue and laughs. “But you like me anyways~” He bounces off the wall and skips down the hallway, whistling a tune. Iwaizumi sighs in defeat and heads back to the gym. Oikawa could do whatever he wanted. It was possible that he would not find Kiyoko at all. Iwaizumi would be okay about having Oikawa whine for a couple of days if it meant that the girl was safe from Oikawa’s antics.

Oikawa goes outside and prances around the school, humming to himself. He waves to a couple of girls coming in and they wave back, giggling.

 _I can do_ , he coaches himself once they leave. _I can talk to Kiyoko and befriend her. I can do this._

He rounds a corner and there she is, Shimizu Kiyoko. Oikawa felt his breath get knocked out of his lungs. Was that a halo of light around her? (It was the setting sun but good luck convincing Oikawa of that.) She stood near the entrance of the school, her back to him. Her head was down and in one hand she clutched the Medicine Kit tightly. She looked up once, seemed to scan the area, then looked back down.

He got this. He wasn't nervous at all, no, no, no. It’s okay. He’s talked to pretty girls before. He’s done it loads of times and he has yet to fail. Unless the girl is uncooperative, but they usually aren’t. Surely Kiyoko-san isn’t like that, right? If he can’t get her through his good looks and charms he could talk volleyball to her and she was probably already impressed by how good of a player he was. This would be easy. This would be easy.

Then why was he hiding behind the school wall, staring at her?

Maybe Iwaizumi was right. Maybe this was a horrible idea. She could think that he was doing this to hurt Karasuno. (He kinda was but…) Maybe she already had a boyfriend, he wouldn’t be surprised. With good looks there were probably plenty of guys drooling over her. Oh god, what if she hated him?!

He really needed to shut up and get this over with.

Oikawa took in a deep breath before emerging out of the shadows of the building. He slowly sauntered up to her and put on his best smile. “Manager-chan!” he calls.

Kiyoko doesn’t look up.

Oikawa frowns before trying again. “It’s Kiyoko-san, right?”

She tilts her head to the side in acknowledgement of her name.

Oikawa feels some frustration build up in him but keeps it under control. “Kiyoko-san, what are you doing so far away from her team? Where are those two second years that always hang around you? You aren't lost, are you?”

“I’m waiting for the bus,” she replies quietly.

 _Such a pretty voice,_ thinks Oikawa, but he is still irritated by her clipped answer. “The bus picks you guys up here?”

“It’s where we were dropped off,” she responds with the same quiet tone.

Okay, this conversation was going absolutely nowhere.

Oikawa grinds his teeth before moving up next to her, hoping that his expression is as neutral as possible. She’s peering over her glass at her phone, her lips slanted downwards. Oikawa notices the case and grins. “That’s a nice case you have.”

Kiyoko eyes go up for a brief moment, puzzled, before turning her attention back to her phone. “I guess.”

Oikawa stares at it too, dumbfounded before he comes to a startling revelation.

 

_She was ignoring him._

 

 

Never, ever in Oikawa’s life had he ever had someone ignore him. (okay, that a total lie but there is some truth to it- Oikawa swears!) Especially not girls. Especially not very cute girls like Kiyoko Shimizu.

In one last desperate attempt to get a hold of her Oikawa leans forward and is about to whisper, _“Could I at least get your number?”_ when Iwaizumi rounds the corner.

“Yo, you missed the-fuCKING HELL SHITTYKAWA I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR ONE SECOND-“ Next thing Oikawa knows he’s being pulled by the ear and Iwaizumi’s yelling at him at the top of his lung. Oikawa struggles in Iwaizumis's arms and the two end up fighting like a couple of three-year-olds.

“OW! Don’t pull my hair!”

“My shin, Oikawa, my shin!”

“You need to cut your nails!”

“Oh my god, did you just try to _BITE ME_?!”

Kiyoko watches in shock as the two squabble and stares at them, unsure of what to do. Finally, Iwaizumi looks up at her. “I’m so sorry,” he breathes as he pulls Oikawa into a headlock.

“Hey! Let me go, Iwa-chan!”

“So, so, so sorry for whatever he has done to you. Really, I usually keep a better eye on him…”

“What am I, a dog?”

Kiyoko’s mouth parts open prettily and the two boys watch in awe as she gives Iwaizumi a soft smile. “I-I’m fine, thank you.”

Iwaizumi blinks and stumbles back which makes Oikawa squawk indignantly. “I promise I’ll look out for him more. Sorry for any and all harassment he did to you.”

Kiyoko giggles and blushes at this. “I-I told you, it’s fine. You played really well, by the way. I’m impressed.”

Oikawa tilts his head up and he swears to the heavens that there was pink dusting Iwaizumi’s cheeks. “I-uh-thank you, Kiyoko-san.”

This was fucking gold and Iwaizumi was never going to live this down, not as long as Oikawa lived. 

“Kiyoko!” calls out a new voice. The three of them turn to see Sugawara, Karasuno's other setter. He was waving his arm around, trying to to get his manager's attention. “Kiyoko! What are you doing over here?”

Kiyoko frowns at her phone before answering Sugawara. “Bus?”

He laughs. “It’s picking us up at the back.”

“Oh,” says Kiyoko, turning an interesting shade of pink and nope, Oikawa does not think that it's cute, not at all.

“We’ll be taking our leave,” says Iwaizumi, clearing his throat. His grip on Oikawa tightens and the setter elbows Iwaizumi’s stomach in protest.

The ace does not budge and OIiawa starts to whine. 

“Thank you coming, by the way. Good game,” says Iwaizumi, ignoring Oikawa’s complaining.

Suga waves a hand and grins. “Oh, please. I didn’t play. But, yes, it was a very good game! It makes me excited to see how a real game would play out. It would be pretty interesting, don’t you think?” Sugawara smile is angelic but his eyes sparkle like the devil. Oikawa is completely unnerved. Suddenly, he didn't want to stick around here anymore than he had to with these crows. He had failed his mission with Kiyoko anyways. There was no reason to hang around.

“Is that a challenge?” asks Oikawa, untangling himself from Iwaizumi’s arms and standing at his full height.

Sugawara taps his chin. “If you want it to be,” he answers mischievously.

That's it.

Oikawa is so done with Karasuno.

All of them.

He thought Sugawara was the cute and nice one! (He still technically is, but don’t say that in front of Oikawa.)

“I’ll take it as one,” replies Oikawa, eyes flashing. He huffs and spins around, marching back to the gym.

Iwaizumi watches him go tiredly. “I am so, so sorry.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “He usually isn’t like this. I swear, he’s a good person underneath all-" Iwaizumi gesticulates wildly."-that."

Sugawara laughs and slaps Iwaizumi’s back. Iwaizumi chokes a little because, _damn_ , this Sugawara kid has a lot more strength than he had originally thought. “I bet he is. You might want to go and catch up to him. We’ll be leaving soon so if he wants to talk to a certain someone he has to get there quick.”

Iwaizumi frowns and Sugawara’s friendly demeanor yet loaded words. “Uh, okay? See you at Interhighs, I guess.”

Sugawara laughs and it sounds as though an angel was ringing a bell. “You bet! See you!” Iwaizumi back-pedals towards the gym and gives a small wave in return to Sugawara’s enthusiastic flail of arms. He turns around when he reaches the corner and bumps into Oikawa.

“I don’t like Karasuno,” Oikawa blurts, eyes narrowed.

Iwaizumi arches an eyebrow. “Oh? Not even Kiyoko?”

Oikawa snorts. “She’s okay, I guess. But she’s still a crow. It’s hard to tell what she’s like, since she’s so shy.”

“Shy?” questions Iwaizumi. “I mean, she seems quiet and all but-“

“I talked to her and she didn’t talk back to me,” he sniffs. “But that’s okay. It’s probably because she’s shy. Who could blame her? I don’t care. Not at all.”

Iwaizumi has to fight down his laughter. “Karasuno hasn’t left yet, you know. If you want to talk to someone on the team…”

Oikawa’s eyes widen. “Tobio-chan and Chibi-chan,” he whispers furiously. 

“I’m sorry, but did you refer to their little middle blocker as ‘Chibi-chan’?”

But Oikawa is too far gone. He’s sprinting all the way to the back in hopes of being able to intimidate a couple of first years, his meeting with Kiyoko momentarily forgotten.

Iwaizumi lots out a long, suffering sigh and contemplates, not for the first time, getting a leash for Oikawa and he trudges after the setter.

Back at the entrance, Sugawara and Kiyoko wait until they are certain that the two Seijou players would not come back. “So, Oikwa-san and Iwaizumi-san? Goodness, Kiyoko.”

She blushes and slaps his arm gently. “Be quiet. How much of did you see?”

Sugawara grins. “The whole thing.”

Kiyoko lets out a sigh as Sugawara covers his mouth with his hand. “You know, Sugawara, you so much worse than other people give you credit for.”

“That’ll be our secret, eh?” He winks at her playfully and she gives him a fond smile. He extends a hand and Kiyoko takes it, comforted by Sugawara’s wamth. They make their way to the bus, speaking softly to each other. Finally, Sugawara asks, “What did you think about them?”

“Them? Do you mean Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san?”

Sugawara nods. “They both seem to be interested in you.”

Kiyoko looks away. “Maybe Oikawa, but I don’t think that Iwaizumi feels that way. Besides, I’m not interested in either of them.”

This makes Sugawara frown. “I can understand why you could have been put off by Oikawa-san, but Iwaizumi-san? Sure, he’s a little rough around the edges but he seems very nice. And so does Oikawa-san, in that case.”

Kiyoko fidgets with her skirt. “They both seem like wonderful people and I admit that they both are good people. I do prefer Iwaizumi-san over Oikawa-san, though. However, my interests lie…” A couple of Seijou girls pass them and Kiyoko eyes the girl with the shortest skirt a fraction of a second too long. Sugawara has to fight back a smirk. “…elsewhere.”

Sugawara’s laughing the whole bus ride back home.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> rip Iwaizumi's sanity
> 
> Also, I feel that they are a little OOC but hopefully it isn't too bad?


End file.
